The Greatest Gift

So tonight at dinner I as I was wrestling Julia (she wanted to run wild throught PF Changs) and trying to feed her ice cream I overheard the conversation of the man next to me. He was talking about how his wife had no desire to have kids because it would interrupt her writing career. I thought to myself "how sad". I know everyone is different and has different ambitions in life. Some women want to rule the world and some want to rule the kitchen...to each their own. However, I just hurt for this woman that I didn't know. I hurt for her because she would never know the truest love one can know - a love for your child.  I mean, my life didn't really begin until wild woman came along and I love my husband but the love I have for Julia is stronger that I ever imagined love could be. I know everyone in this world wasn't as broken as I was  but sweet Julia fixed me...she showed me how bright the sun can shine and to take risks because the reward can be so sweet. She helped me find my center (eventhough I'm like a top and tip over often) and she continues to help me discover so many facets of myself I never even knew existed. Yes my life has changed. I walked around Target today with ground in goldfish on my shoulder and pants that I had to keep pulling up b/c I haven't had time to do MY laundry. Yes when I had my pants hemmed today they were hemmed to flat shoes and not high heels like pre-Julia me would do. Yes I have had to give up and change so many things in my life and put some things on hold but at the same token I've discovered and gained more than I could ever ask for. For one - my feet no longer hurt at the end of the day from wearing high heels:-) No but on a more serious note I found a passion that I can use to help support my family because of her. I've gained a true sense of who I really am and my life's purpose...I found my own sense of who I truely am thanks to her. I don't have time to worry about who I'm impressing - I do things for me - for her - for my family now. That's what's important. I didn't think like that before Julia. So maybe this woman that I don't even know knows exactly who she is and what she wants in life (man she's lucky - took having a baby to find it for me) and that is great but at the same time she will never know that intoxicating feeling you get from your baby giggling at your silly faces or running to you when you pick them up. She will never know the pride that one feels when their little one meets a milestone or says what sounds like "thank you" when you hand them their sippy cup. I am just so blessed beyond measure and I would have never knows that without the entrance of my lil' pumpkin. So I've rambled but I just wanted to let this out and so one day when Julia reads this she will know exactly what she means to me and think twice about never wanting children. They are the greatest gift we will ever receive.