Thursday, April 29, 2010

Baby Clothes and Mommy Clothes

Baby clothes are addictive....regardless of how packed Julia's closet gets packed I continue to buy her more clothes. They are so cute...and now that she's mobile they are even cuter.

Hi, my name is Amanda and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to buying baby clothes.

So there I confessed and took the first step to baby clothing sobreity. The dresses, the smocked rompers...oh the rompers and frilly diaper covers. The ice cream print diaper cover and pink frilly top. The teeny tiny bows that delicately clip in her super soft baby hair and she has no clue. Gymbucks for Gymboree.  AAAAHHHH it's all so cute. It's so much fun to dress her in the mornings. And when she makes a mess of an outfit that means a new one! Yay!

However, yesterday I realized that I'm out and about with this darling little girl in her cute get-ups while I look like a wreck. Not that my facial didn't take (I have that glow again...) but tennis shoes, work out crop pants and an oversized T just don't match up to her little pink frilly romper and tiny pink bow. So I guess being a busy try to do it all mom results in this dishoveled looking woman. I just have so much more to do. Afterall, I'm just returning to do yard work or crawl on the floor. Don't get me wrong there are some days that getting ready trumps it all and I get dressed, fix my hair, apply make up and tote my little cutie while running errands. However, 85% of the time workout shorts and tshirt wins. However, I'm realizing I'm not alone. After two days of playdates, I'm seeing that I'm not the only mom showing up in my workout/gardening wear. Does Julia really care what I wear right now? Nope. Lets save all of that energy for when she's older and realizes what is going on with Mommy.

Hey, maybe I will take up tennis so I can atleast wear the cute tennis outfits everywhere including the drs office, mall, grocery store and park!! Maybe I could just skip tennis and wear them anyways...who would know?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sacrifice

You don't really understand the word until you become a mother. I once thought sacrifice was something that you did and it was a negative thing. I thought if I had to sacrifice something then I was giving up something. It's such a tricky noun. I never understood growing up why my parents would give up something just so I could have what I wanted or needed. I just never got it until now. Since becoming a SAHM I have given up certain things.

The first one is MY TIME. There never ever seems to be enough of it to get to everything. If I do make time I am sacrificing something that Julia needs. So what do I give up - MY TIME. It's okay and some days I resent the world (never Julia though) for not having enough time to clean, run errands, work out, arrange dinner or make dinner, feed Julia, bathe Julia, play with Julia...it can be overwhelming. I never do it all. Somedays I get crazy about not being able to be Superwoman but the days I accept I am not her are days I call a sucess. Why? Because I made a sacrifice of something that is not going to affect the world - MY TIME. I refuse to sacrifice Julia's time because of my OCD Type A personality disorder!

Maybe the next one falls under MY TIME but for those of you that know me you also know that taking care of myself has always been important to me. However today I realized my eyebrows were lopsided (lack of professional brow shaping - 8 months ago was the last time), my toenail polish is chipped and dull from lack of pedicures, my skin doesn't have that glow from my rush to get ready routine I've acquired, and my hair doesn't have that bounce because I'm more focused on buying Julia and house stuff while I'm at Target instead of volumizing mousse. I know if Erika is reading this she's probably quoting words I once said to her "you're still a woman". Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm now a mom and not that I'm a slob, but I don't exactly have anyone to impress or any hot dates in my near future.

The next thing I find I have to sacrifice is HUSBAND time. Yes I said it - I am not the perfect wife. I just know me and right now Julia requires most of my time, while starting a business so that I have something that is mine years down the road takes a large chunk of time. By the time I've spent time doing those and trying to straighten up this monster of a house, run a couple errands, lug around a 24 lb baby and ....I'm pooped. I don't even want to hear my own voice! I'm sure some relationship guru would let me have it for that one and maybe SACRIFICE isn't a good thing to do to the marriage but I'm not sure how to get it all in. Under this falls no dinners out because Julia goes to bed so early and her sleep is more important that a nice dinner out. This also encompasses weekends out.  Maybe I should speak to some guru of some sorts to figure out how to do it all???

I'm sure in the future there will be more and more SACRIFICES to be made. However, I don't mind them. I know it's part of the job I signed up for and the return I get for these SACRIFICES are tenfold. I know in the future the sacrifices will come in a different form - hopefully I will get some of MY TIME back but have to sacrifice being right with a teenager who knows it all???  

Friday, April 9, 2010

Lowering the Crib

Its a bittersweet moment everytime I pack up a size of Julia's clothing or move to the next stage of baby food. These are moments where I realize she is no longer that tiny little baby and soon won't be a newborn but instead of movin' and shakin' toddler. It's sad. Then I think though about how much she has accomplished over 8 months and how much of a gift it is to watch her grow and solve the mysteries of walking and feeding yourself. Last night as I was lowering the crib (she's can now pull up and tries to stand and will soon be tipping over) it occured to me that REALLY SOON she will be a toddler an I'll be taking away the front panel. Wow! It seems like just yesterday she was sleeping through my chest through the night and then her co-sleeper next to me. When people say time flies and they grow up so fast they really mean it. Whatever happened to time passing by so slow like when you were in high school....the years seemed to tip toe by and now they are sprinting it seems. The years you want to savor ....I am trying to savor every moment and take in the beauty of watching a child discover what to us is simple but to them a mystery. Wow - what moving 4 screws and a frame can evoke.

Picture to come soon. She's sleeping and as we all know don't risk waking a sleeping baby!