So I have always been a highly organized and scheduled person. I'm a note taker and check list maker. I love post-its and highlighters. I like bins and nice neat rows. I go through spells where I have to clean clean clean. Then there's the creative side of me. I like to make messes but clean them up afterwards. I love projects and things where I can see progress if not over a few hours but atleast a few days. I loose interest in things easily if it takes too long. Soooooo here I am now. I am still trying to do all these things as a new mom but I feel like I'm becoming a bit dishoveled at the same time. Julia is by far my number one priority now and so what if I don't clean one day - she held her bottle! So what if my craft room has turned into a junk room - Julia is laughing and babbling consonants. So what if I haven't straightened up the cabinets - Julia is holding herself up with her hands! Well it's catching up with me with our upcoming Christmas party. I have food to prepare, a house to clean, gifts to wrap, a white elephant gift to find (what was I thinking), cocktails to concoct, and who knows what else to do by Saturday all with a splitting headache that comes and goes as it chooses. There's a small person in me trying to arrise saying "you can do it all! Take on all the responsibilty you can!" but then the other small person is yelling "you have a baby!"
I'm not complaining by far, I love my life and all the blessings I have. I acknowledge that we are blessed enough in this recession to be able to throw a party for our friends and celebrate Christmas and our blessed life. I'm blessed to have a tree filled with gifts for family and friends. However, I just find myself not as put together and organized as I used to be. That's been hard for me to accept considering the old me - that's pre-baby me. A baby really does change your life in every way but for the better. Maybe my physical appearance isn't as great and my mind is a little bit wishy-washy due to lack of sleep but when I walked in the door today and Julia laughed at me....who cares what I look like or that my brain is jibblejobble right now. It's okay I know because I am doing the best I can and it shows in my daughter and marriage.
Why blog about this because I'm not asking for advice?? If Julia reads this entry when she becomes a mother one day, I want her to know that it's completely normal for her Type A personality to let go a bit and embrace motherhood. I finally have even though I may look a bit dishoveled in doing so.
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2 comments:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting some things go! It's called relaxing! ha ha I know though how hard this must be for you. Keep up the good work! Oh, we got the x-mas card yesterday. I do believe Julia is the most beautiful baby!
With 4 kids, sometimes I have to ask myself...is this going to matter in a week? a year? 10 years? Usually, if it is not for my children or my marriage...the answer is no! I wish I had your organization skills. I need help organizing my new "office" now that I have chosen to stay at home!
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